Sex and the Single Christian

First thing first, it is my belief that sex, when practiced as God ordained, designed, and intended, is a pure, needful, and beautiful wonder of God's creation.

It marvels me that any time the word sex is mentioned in the Church or a Christian gathering, it is being treated as a no go subject, an abomination. But in this time and age, where almost every advert or videos being televised has to do with sex. If the word sex is being avoided and not being discussed what then becomes of we single youth, that must use the internet, watch the television and go to our place of work daily? How long can we avoid the temptation of sexual content on our bill boards and in our magazines?

Am not here to support sex among the singles, or make up excuses why you should have sex, on the contrary, this article is all about telling you what sex is, who is it made for, is it necessary? And how to avoid pre-marital sex.

The word sex is not new to our dictionary, even a child in primary school knows what sex is. Simply put sex is an act of sexual procreation between a man and a woman. It is a natural act made by God for the satisfaction of a man and woman and also to use to procreate or bear children. But God, made sex for us to enjoy in marriage not when we are single. That brings about another question, is it necessary? And if yes, for who is it necessary for?.

"Be fruitful and multiply!" "Reproduce!" was one of the first things God commanded the creatures of His glorious creation. And then again, after the great deluge, God reminded Noah and all that survived with him that they had an important job to do, Reproduce.

The Christian teaching always preaches against sex among singles. Christian singles are often encouraged to love one another in a non-sexual way. This type of love, sometimes called ‘agape’ is the love that Jesus showed to other people when he gave his life for them:

Sexual intercourse is wrong unless it happens within a marriage. God intended men and women to live together as married couples but not to live together outside marriage.

Paul says that Christians should:

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? 1 Corinthians 6:18-19

I have heard many Christian singles talk about how hard is it for them to abstain from sex,  some even say in vernacular "body no bi fire wood”, meaning the body has its limitation. And in all fairness, it might not be so easy for some believers, I will be honest with you, I know some times it is difficult. But the truth is that sex is one powerful tool that the devil has used to weaken almost everyone living. However, the urge can still be controlled.  let's say you start changing the friends you keep. Start being in the midst of those who share same belief as you. Set up a schedule that would keep you busy throughout the year in the church or a Christian gathering. Try to be in crowds rather than being alone. Try avoiding being alone with a guy or girl. Perform activities that get you really busy. An idle mind is the devil's workshop. I know its difficult, but if you can get a friend who knows this feeling, you can try talking about it with him or her when the feeling returns. But be rest assured you are not passing through this alone, the moment you made that confession and accepted Christ into your life He became a friend to you. and you know what friends are for? They talk and share their pain together, when you are aroused sexually try talking to Him, call His name He is always there, and don't forget to read the Bible, cause in it you will find the strength needed to scale through.

Ten Lies Single Christian Youth Tell Themselves About Sex, 

and How Far Is Too Far

So, how far is too far? Is that a valid question to ask? In a world where Sex is seen in every medium and condoms are being handed out in schools, what is a Christian youth to do when confronted with conflicting advice about what constitutes a sexual activity or abstinence? Here are the top 10 lies Christian singles tell themselves when it comes to answering the question, "How far is too far?"

1. Everybody Does It

Everybody? No. Not everybody is having sex. While the media and people in school may make it seem like everyone is having sex, there are just as many Single Christian youth (and non-Christians, too) waiting until marriage. Doing something just because everyone else is doing it is just giving into peer pressure. It takes a stronger person, or a person backed up by the strength of God, to resist temptation. When you stand up to peer pressure you are actually saving yourself from committing sin while being a good Christian witness to other youths around you.

2. Its No Big Deal

Sex is a big deal. Ask any Christian teen who struggles with having had sex before. There are a lot of emotions and spiritual struggles that come from having had sex outside of marriage. It is one of the reasons God placed such an emphasis on sex and relationships in the Bible. Sex is a beautiful act that comes out of the marriage covenant, and it means more than just an action.

3. Virginity is a State of Mind

Some people use the term "technical virgin" when describing their sexual status. Usually this means that the person has not had a sexual act that involved penetration. Virginity is more than that. Virginity is not a state of mind, but it is the conscious choice to not involve oneself in sexual acts until after marriage. Usually this excuse is used if someone wants to justify participating in sexual activity.

4. Sex and Love is the Same Thing

Sex and love are very different, but they are meant to complement one another. If you are in love it does not mean you should have sex. Sex is an act. Love is an emotion. They are very different, and it can be dangerous to mix them up. You should never feel like you have to have sex with someone just because you want to show them you love them. There are plenty of non-sexual ways to show your love to someone.

5. Sex is a Minor Sin

Pre-marital sex is sin. Sin is sin. However, it is dangerous to think that sex is a minor or equal sin to all others, because it can put you in a frame of mind to make bad choices. Sexual sin is still a defiance of God, and no sin is acceptable to God. Yes, you can be forgiven, but you will have to live with the sin you have committed, which can be difficult if you are not prepared to deal with sex emotionally.

6. Oral Sex Isn't Really Sex

Oral sex is a sexual act. Just because Christian youths are not having sex in the textbook fashion, it is still a sexual act that bonds a man and a woman together.

7. Third Base Isn't a Big Deal

Third base, also known as "heavy petting," is a big deal, because it can lead to other things. Not only is it a form of sexual action, but it can lead to sexual intercourse. It is very easy for Christian youths to get caught up in the moment and forget about any desire to stay abstinent. Sin is very tempting, and it does not always come with warning or stop signs. Going to Third Base can be a danger zone.

8. My Will Can Overcome Any Temptation

God's will can overcome any temptation. If you feel you have the strength alone to conquer any temptation, you are setting yourself up for trouble. Man is known for falling into sin, especially when there is overconfidence in the self. Christian youths need to keep their eyes on God, and allow God to help set boundaries so they can resist temptation. The Bible is full of helpful advice when it comes to coping with temptation, and it can be a useful tool.

9. Watching Porn or Masturbating is Less of a Sin Than Having Sex

A lot of people believe that pornography and masturbation are helpful in preventing a person from having sex. However, having sex is not just about the act, but it is about the frame of mind. If you have lust in your heart while you are watching pornographic movies or masturbating, then there is sin there.

10. I've Already Had Sex, so It's Too Late for Me

It is never too late. While the idea of "born-again virgin" may seem a little like "technical virgin," it is not the same thing. Many Christian youths that have already had sex choose to act as if they have never had sex and vow to wait until marriage. Having sex is not the end of the world. God is very forgiving, and He smiles at those who return to Him with a desire to do His will. While the temptation for someone who has had sex can be even stronger than the virgin, it can be overcome with God's help. God is waiting to welcome you with open arms

Reference:  Kelli Mahoney, About.com Guide